Do you have a tween or teen daughter?
Yes? Then you know what I’m talking about. You never know when that day is going to hit.

And you don’t even know that you’ve got to that day until you think back and wonder when did my little girl not be a little girl anymore?

When did she stop loving the colour pink?

When did she stop wanting to go to the park?
When did she stop writing love notes to me?
When did her notes stop saying “I love you so much I could burst!”?

That was my daughter’s favourite saying and I thought it was so cute. And don’t we wish we could remember everything. Everything that was cute that she said or did. I was too busy to write it down. Were you?

 

My daughter was my third baby. She was my last. She was my little girl. The little girl that I desperately wanted, because I loved my 2 boys so much, but I just knew it would be different to have a little girl that I could grow old with and be friends with for eternity. You know the saying “A son is a son till he takes him a wife.  A daughter is a daughter all of her life.” I had leant on my Mum so much during the hard times and when I became a Mum, I wanted to be that unconditional support for my daughter. 

There’s been a few times lately where she still greets me at my car with her puppy in her arms when I get home from work. I treasure that moment and greet her warmly, because I know that there will be a last day she does that. You know that poem “The Last Time”? The author is unknown, but gosh it’s powerful. You don’t think about it at the time because you’re just busy being the best Mum you can be. It really makes you stop and realise how precious our moments are with our children. 

Time is a thief. 
Time is precious. 
Quality time with our children is hard to come by in our fast paced world. 
And when did it even become this fast? And this frantic? It feels like we’re on a roller coaster ride that never stops. 

Round and round, up and down, not going slow enough for us to catch our breath. Was it when mobile phones became attached to our hand? Was that when we didn’t know when to stop, and when every moment of our lives was filled with work or running the kids around or scrolling on our newsfeeds? Technology and social media have amazing advantages but...does your daughter say “Mum, you’re always on your phone”. When they were little, it was all about playing with them on the floor or playing a board game or helping them with something. 

As a Mum, we can’t wait for our kids to start to become independent because we are so tired, and the dependency becomes so draining. When did my daughter stop needing me to get her a snack and pour her a drink? 
When did she start packing her own lunch box? 
When did the arguments start about how fussy she is with food?! 

We know as Mums we need to give our daughters the skills to become independent young women who are fierce in the world and can handle anything. So we know we’re doing the right thing? Don’t we. I know how easy it is for us to want our daughters to be happy all the time. Of course we want our daughters to be happy. But if we remove every problem and obstacle, how will she learn to handle problems as a young woman? 

So this transition from little girl to tween to teen to adult is all a necessary part of the process. But it still breaks my heart. Doesn’t your heart melt when you see Facebook memories of so long ago when she was little? It makes me smile. Oh that’s right, that’s when she was cute and smiley and loved her Mumma with every fibre of her being. 

You know that your daughter loves you with all her heart, but her body is changing, her mind is changing, her perceptions of the world are changing, her innocence about the world are changing. So there is the gradual pull of some invisible string that is pulling her into the teen years with a body and mind that is no longer an innocent little girl. 

Is that string pulling her away from you? Yes it is, but you have a string that pulls her back. Love her unconditionally with all your heart. Let her know that whatever happens, that you will always be there for her. No matter what mistakes she makes...and she will...you will still love her and accept her. Because we all make mistakes. I did. Didn’t you? 

She needs a soft place to land in this harsh world. I want that to be my warm hug that will always be there if she needs it... my ear to listen to her worries of the world...and my heart that she knows breaks a little more if she pulls away. 

But that’s why I started Sensational Girls Network. Because the love that a Mum has for her daughter is incredibly powerful. We can mend our hearts with the glue of reconnection. Of being there when she needs us and her knowing that she is accepted by us for all her faults. The world demands perfection but us Mums do not. 

What a relief for our daughters that they can be themselves in front of us! We can see them with all their faults and imperfections and they will still be loved and that they are ok. 

You are enough. 
You are enough. 
We need to repeat those words over and over until hopefully she believes it. 

Sensational Girls Network is a community of Mums who want the best for their little girl growing into a young woman. 
SGN empowers our daughters to be their own kind of beautiful. 
To keep mentally healthy. 
And alive. 


Lots of love 
Julie 💞💞💞💞💞💞